25 Years and Counting Pt. 6

I have been in Southern California for the last four days and although I have learned many great things and been encouraged greatly, I can't wait to get home to see my bride.  In these 25 years I have learned that being away emphasis' my great love for her and even causes me to value these lessons I have learned all the more.

Lesson - Leave sometime

As I have said before, in all marriages there are times when you will fight about things.  Statistics tell us there are three primary reasons for divorce; money, sex and children.  If you are breathing you know that conflict is a part of life.  Unfortunately most of us do not know how to resolve conflict, therefore it is very complicated to do life togehter.

I have learned that sometimes you have to leave.  I know that some of you will have trouble with this lesson, however there have been those times when our disagreements escalated to the point that the only way to resolve them was for one of us to walk away.  For me, leaving was the best thing I could have done.  At this point some of you are misunderstanding what I am saying, I am not saying to leave for hours or days, but leave by driving around the block or walking down the street to cool off and to consider my actions.  It was in these times that I realized that in most of the struggles I was at fault and many times wrong.

Marriage is about mutual submission.  For a marriage to survive a couple must learn when to surrender their wills and emotions, deciding at some point their spouse is more important over self.  Selfishness is at the core of most marriage failures.  Learning to leave may cause you to realize your selfishness.

The Leave sometimes lesson leads me to the next lesson I have learned:

Lesson - Learn to admit when you are wrong

Have you ever been wrong?

Although it is hard to admit for most men, being wrong is not only possible, it is a regular occurrence.  In contrast to popular opinion men do make mistakes and do things that are not right.  Often times we will sacrifice relationships just to be right.

When we realize that we are all fallible and capable of doing wrong, it will allow us to resolve most relationship issues.  It will set us up to ask the difficult questions about our relationships and then take the time to make things right.

Learning to say you were wrong is one of the most important lessons you can learn to be a spouse in a growing marriage that will stand the test of time.