Important Message Regarding Sunday

Good morning everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that this coming Sunday, February 28th, we will only have ONE service at 11 a.m.  Please make arrangements to be here.  Craig will be addressing everyone and is requesting that everyone (members and regular attenders alike) be here for this important message.

See y’all Sunday.   

Ephesians 4:29 (The Message)

One day in ancient Greece, an acquaintance met the great philosopher Socrates and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple Filter Test?" asked the man.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..." he said.

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really," the man said.

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

Ephesians 4:29 (The Message)
29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

25 Years and Counting Pt. 6

If you didn't realize it, today is Valentine's Day and although I think it is a day primarily promoted by greeting card companies I believe it is a great time to show your spouse, girlfriend and even family how much you love them.

Tonight I want to do a special post about one of the lessons I have learned during my 25 year marriage to Tina.

Lesson - Love

I met Tina at her father's church in 1984.  Being two years out of high school and living the good/wild life I invited her on a date that day.  I even told a famly member that I would marry her one day.  We dated for a while and I considered moving on (she knows what I am talking about).  But the one thing I could not get around in how much I loved her.

In late 1984 while picking up a Sunday night meal for the family Tina and I were hit by a car while stopped at a red-light.  Neither of us were injured and I knew then I wanted to marry her.  On Feb. 23, 1985 we were married and it is a day I will never forget.

Today:  I would like to say I have been the great husband and godly leader of my home all these years, however I would not be telling the truth.  Tina has shown me love when I was not lovable, she has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself, she endured many long hours, hurts and pains.  I have learned love from her.  In all this time my love for Tina has grown.  It's not that I didn't love her, it's just that I love myself more than her.  Through all we have experienced I have learned to love her first and me second.  I have learned that the closer I get to Jesus the closer I get to her.  Last week while away at a conference in California I couldn't wait to get home.  I longed to be with her and to see her.

In learning this lesson I am so thankful that Tina's love for me and grateful for her beingg patient, kind, forgiving and loving.

The Lesson of Love takes many years, a lot of hard work and most of all an understanding that it is through God's love that I can fully love her.

Amazing Day

It started as a normal Sunday morning.  The 9:15 servie went well and then something changed.  I recieved a message that one of our members had accidentally OD'd and was in the hospital.  The service began and it seemed as if the Spirit of God was present and worship was amazing. 

As I sat waiting for my time to talk, I felt the Spirit impress on me that He was working today in a special way.  I have experienced this before and knew that I would be using I Thes. 5, one part talks about not hindering the Spirit.  I challenged the church that we should be the church and stop talking about the church.  It was on!

Mickey and the praise team joined me and sang, How He Loves Us.  I presented the gospel and invited people to respond.  Several people came to pray and one of our members asked to stand in the gap for the young man who had OD'd.  I invited people to come pray and almost everyone came forward.  Then it hit.  When all was said and done we had three confirmed decesions to follow Christ, one rededication and a lot of people touched in ways they never expected.

All I can say is WOW.


Here are two of the stories from today:  When I moved to north Georgia I met a young man who ran a pet shop.  Immediately God placed a burden on my life to pray for him.  On many occassions I would encounter he or his wife and I would pray for them.  Three weeks ago he started attending Fellowship and today he came during the pray, sobbing he asked Jesus into his life.  AWESOME!


Following worship I noticed a young lady I have been praying for talking to her parents at the back.  I could she was dealing with God as she was very broken.  I stopped to talk and she shared her story.  I then asked her about trusting Jesus and she prayed to trust Him.  Immediately we went to the Harvest Wall and she and her family X'd out her name.  Then her mother said this, "This is the greatest Valentines gift ever!"  I agree.


If you missed this mornings 11:00 am service then you missed an amazing time of the presence of God.  I pray we experience this every week.  


See you Sunday!

My Time at Hollywood and Vine

Today following our conference we visited Hollywood, California.  It was not what I expected!

On TV you see the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and not the reality of it's culture.  As we drove and walked down Sunset Strip and Hollywood Blvd. it became apparent that there were a lot of hurting people in the shadow of the entertainment industry.

We also traveled up into Beverly Hills where the homes are built along the mountain ridge overlooking Hollywood.  As we drove we noticed that there was mud in the streets and it became clear that due to how the homes were built the mountain was literally falling down onto the homes and destroying lives.  Amazingly the people who lived in these homes have learned to adapt and accept the consequences of their choices.

We also saw the same destruction of the mountain homes in the streets of the city made famous by the entertainment industry.  As we walked the noise of emergency vehicles began to sound.  For the next several minutes police car after police car and all kinds of rescue equipment passed.  As we walked closer to the scene we were informed that a man had jumped from the Kodak Theater's top floor to his death on the sidewalk of Hollywood Blvd.  The consequence of his choice cost him his life.  Tragically the show must go on and the crowd gathered to view his draped body lying on the cold pavement surrounded by sadness and hopelessness.

It was interesting to visit Hollywood, but the thing I will most remember is how in this place where happiness is made in the form of movies, at least one individual felt compelled to walk into eternity obviously unhappy.

25 Years and Counting Pt. 6

I have been in Southern California for the last four days and although I have learned many great things and been encouraged greatly, I can't wait to get home to see my bride.  In these 25 years I have learned that being away emphasis' my great love for her and even causes me to value these lessons I have learned all the more.

Lesson - Leave sometime

As I have said before, in all marriages there are times when you will fight about things.  Statistics tell us there are three primary reasons for divorce; money, sex and children.  If you are breathing you know that conflict is a part of life.  Unfortunately most of us do not know how to resolve conflict, therefore it is very complicated to do life togehter.

I have learned that sometimes you have to leave.  I know that some of you will have trouble with this lesson, however there have been those times when our disagreements escalated to the point that the only way to resolve them was for one of us to walk away.  For me, leaving was the best thing I could have done.  At this point some of you are misunderstanding what I am saying, I am not saying to leave for hours or days, but leave by driving around the block or walking down the street to cool off and to consider my actions.  It was in these times that I realized that in most of the struggles I was at fault and many times wrong.

Marriage is about mutual submission.  For a marriage to survive a couple must learn when to surrender their wills and emotions, deciding at some point their spouse is more important over self.  Selfishness is at the core of most marriage failures.  Learning to leave may cause you to realize your selfishness.

The Leave sometimes lesson leads me to the next lesson I have learned:

Lesson - Learn to admit when you are wrong

Have you ever been wrong?

Although it is hard to admit for most men, being wrong is not only possible, it is a regular occurrence.  In contrast to popular opinion men do make mistakes and do things that are not right.  Often times we will sacrifice relationships just to be right.

When we realize that we are all fallible and capable of doing wrong, it will allow us to resolve most relationship issues.  It will set us up to ask the difficult questions about our relationships and then take the time to make things right.

Learning to say you were wrong is one of the most important lessons you can learn to be a spouse in a growing marriage that will stand the test of time.

Haiti Update

25 Years and Counting Pt. 5

Good evening from Southern California.  I have been enjoying seeing Saddleback Church and hearing from Rick Warren, Perry Noble and Andy Stanley today, WOW!  Today I am continuing the 25 years and Counting post, sharing with you the top 25 things I have learned in my marriage to Tina for the last 25 years.  I for one have enjoyed sharing these and I pray they encourage you.

Lesson - Looking out for number 1

From the moment we are born we begin to look out for number 1 and we think that everything revolves around us.  As we grow older, especially in our teen years we believe that everything happens in our world for us. 

I have learned that the most successful marriages happen when each spouse understands that looking out for number one is essential.  You may not understand at this point so let me fill you in, number one is not you, it's your spouse.  I would like to say that I have completely learned this lesson, however I have learned that it is one of the toughest lessons to master.

When I place the needs of Tina over myself it exhibits my love for her.  I wish I could take credit for learning this lesson, however it has been at the feet of my wonderful wife that I have learned sacrifice and care for the one you say you love.  Tina has taught me over these 25 years what it means to look out for number one. 

Since our first day together Tina has sacrificed and given way beyond what I could have expected.  Here's an example:  I am traveling this week to a conference in Southern California.  To make this trip a success I needed clothes for the week.  Tina put me above herself to make sure I had everything I needed.  She is awesome.

Unfortunately I counsel so many couples who have never learned much less practiced the lesson of Looking our for number 1.   I would encourage you to try it, I will promise you will love the results.  Oh, by the way, if you put your spouse first just to get something, you will find it doesn't work.  You must have clear motives to find this lesson to be successful.

Lesson - Ability isn't equal to Stability

This lesson came early on in our marriage.  It came at a time when my health was failing and my job situation was less than successful.  As I lamented during this time, Tina assured me she was ok, however I could tell she was struggling. 

As men we get our status and self confidence from our job and what we do.  What I found is that Tina wasn't so concerned about what I did, but she really wanted to  be assured of me being there for the long haul.  Stability is what she desired more than anything else.  In these 25 years my number one goal in being a good spouse is to assure her that I would be there and I would provide a stable home.

For women the home is their place of security.  Their natural bent is to provide a safe place, a clean place, a warm place and a comforting place for their spouse and children.  Sometimes we think that a home is a specific location with a house and furniture, however I have learned that home is not so much about the house and furniture as it is about the family that lives in the house.  Through the years I have seen many who have a nice house, but no home.  They have all the things that fill a house, but lack the peace that comes from being a family that is stable.

Stability is about commitment.  In Biblical times a commitment between two people was called a covenant.  David and Johnathan covenanted together, God made a covenant with Abraham.  Covenants marked a stable relationship built on mutual commitment.     Today our marriages resemble contracts and contracts can be broken, therefore marriage is a short term relationship at best.  Is your marriage a stable covenant commitment that will make it until death do you part?


Until next time I pray you will begin to consider some of these lessons and allow God to build into your life a marriage that will stand the test of time.

I am praying for each of you!  If you are married I pray for your marriage.  If you are singles I pray that God leads you to the spouse He has planned for you.  God bless you all!

Unique Visitors to the Fellowship Dayz Blog

Recently I have been monitoring the visits to our blog.  It has become very interesting and made me a little curious about those who visit.  I thought I would let you regular visitors know where some of the visits have come from:
Cottondale, FL
McDonough, GA
Griffin, GA
Moscow, Russia
Roswell, GA
Washington DC
Ridgewood, NY
Birmingham, AL
Meerut, India
Melbourne, Austrailia
Sunnyvale, CA
Dallas, TX
Emeryville, CA
Potters Bay, United Kingdom
Little Rock, AR
Granger, IN
Beverly Hills, CA
Americus, GA
Seneca, SC
Hollis Center, MN

All these and more since Jan 1, 2010.

Welcome to those of you who visit this site from around the world.  Please take a minute to comment and let us know where you are from and what brought you to our site.

God bless you!

25 Years and Counting Part 4

Lesson - Things are just that, things!

In the beginning of our marriage we had nothing.  I can remember moving my stuff into Tina's apartment, well room would be more appropriate.  Prior to our wedding day Tina and I had moved her into a new apartment that would make our first home.  I can still remember the fun we had beginning our new life together.  The apartment was a two story loft with living room and kitchen on the first floor, stair to the side with the bedroom over looking the living room.  If my memory serves me I believe it was somewhere around 500 square feet of massive living space.

In the first few years we struggles like all couples do, but the two things we splurged on were a TV and of course Stereo.   We bought a 27" Magnavox console TV (hey it was the biggest you could get) with swivel base.  It was somewhere in between the size of a king sized bed and a full dining room set, I mean massive.  Later I visited the local HiFi Buys and bought a Kenwood stereo with turn table, cassette deck and EQ and 4' tall HI/FI Speakers.  Man we were up town.

During our 25 years we have had a lot of things but what we have learned the most is things are just that, things.  There have been times when we bought things we couldn't afford but thought we couldn't live without and most often realized that we weren't any happier when we got them.

I think the advise I would give couples today is to enjoy the years when you have nothing and don't kill yourself or finance your future away for stuff.  Stuff breaks, goes out of styles, becomes obsolete and just doesn't live up to what other couples have.  There have been times when friends had way more than we did.  I can remember getting jealous and mad.  But through it all I have learned that our marriage isn't complete by what we have in our hands, but what we live out in our lives.

Don't let things cause you to loose the only real things that matters, the love, intimacy and joy of sharing your life with the one God has blessed you to live this life with. 


Lesson - A bouquet will go a long way

For those who don't know my story I came from a single parent home.  My mother remarried when I was 12-13 however i didn't give my step father the chance to be a real dad to me and missed out on some great advise and guidance.

One area that I totally missed was the romance that every man must learn and practice to be a nurturing husband to his spouse.  Like children, marriage does not come with an instruction manuel and there weren't many marriage help books in those days.  I had to learn a lot of what I know about being a husband from watching others and making terrible mistakes.

Probably the biggest mistake I made was when our first child Whitney was born.  We waited for that day as most new parents do, prepared the baby room, made sure the car was ready, packed the suit case and waited.  On our last visit to the doctors office everything seemed to be normal and he estimated a delivery within a few days.  As he said a few days later Tina punched me and said, "It time!'  We loaded the car and took off to the hospital and went to the maternity section of the hospital.  When the doctors checker Tina, Whitney had decided to exit feet first and a C-section would be required.  She was prepped for surgery and our first child was delivered and everything was fine, or so I thought.

Fast forward to about 3 years down the road and we were having one of those husband/wives disagreements and I was winning.  About that time Tina burst into tears (for those of you who don't know Tina, she is a red head and looks like Lucille Ball when she cries) and said, "Well, you didn't even send me flowers when our daughter was born!"  Stop the action, What?  She went on to tell me how much it had hurt her for me to not thank her for all the pain she had endured by not sending a bouquet of flowers.

Since that time I have learned the value of the bouquet.  Men listen to me, send flowers!  Send them when you don't even think it will help, it does.  Now the first piece of advice I have for new dads is, "Hey, you did send her a bouquet didn't you?"  If they say anything but yes I kick them in the butt, because I know if I don't their wife will.

25 Years and Counting Part 3

This is the third part of a multi-part blog post sharing with you the top 25 (maybe more to come) things I have learned in my 25 years of marriage.  As I drove into the office this morning it hit me, I am old.  To have been married for 25 year puts me up in the years age wise.  I also pondered the fact that fewer marriages in today's world make it to the 25 year mark.  It is my prayer that Tina and I both live to see another 25 years together, in fact I can't imagine it not being so.

I pray that you enjoy these postings, but also pray that God might use them to strengthen you own marriage.  You can be sure of one thing I am praying for our married couples that we could become an example to the world around us when it comes to great marriages.

Lesson: Forgive as you want to be forgiven

Forgiveness is something we all are in need of daily.   Not only do we need forgiveness from God, mostly due to our selfish desire, but we need forgiveness in our relationships.  When it comes to forgiveness we to often are quick to forgive friends, family and acquaintances and slow to forgive our spouse.

It occurred to me that when it comes to enjoying a good relationship with Tina I must learn to forgive as I would want to forgive.  Listen to what the Bible says about it:

Luke 6:31 (MSG)

³¹ "Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them!

How do you want the love of your life to act when you offend them.  If you want them to hold on to hurts and pains you have caused in their lives, then you do the same thing.  Hurts and pains left unattended will cause infections that lead to amputation.  It is common when counseling to see in marriage places that have been amputated due to unforgiveness.

The Bible also talks about forgiveness this way:
Matthew 6:14-15 (MSG)
¹⁴ "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. ¹⁵ If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.
To help you in translation, if you refuse to forgive then it will be impossible for God to forgive you.


Lesson - Forget the past

A lesson I have learned that goes hand in hand with forgiveness is to forget.  I once saw a sketch by Nicole Johnson about keeping score.  In the sketch both husband and wife carried around notepads with tallies of each wrong the other committed during the day.  At the end of the day the tally was compared and discussed.

Since sports are at the forefront of our society it is very easy to learn to keep score.  To hold on to those things that people do to you and then protect ourselves from every being hurt again.  The unfortunate thing about this mentality is it leads to isolation.  We build walls of protections preventing others from getting close to us.


If you are going to make it 25 years in any relationship we have to learn to let go of the past.  Forget it!  For some that may be the hardest thing to do in life, however when we do it frees us up to love in the right way.

I can remember a very difficult time in Tina and my marriage, a time when it almost ended.  It was my fault, I did some stupid things, broke trust and hurt Tina really bad.  It has taken years to repair the damage.  If Tina chooses to hold onto the past and not forget it will place stumbling blocks in our path to intimacy and growth as a couple.  To forget the past allows us to move forward and love as we should.


God is the greatest example of one who forgets, listen:
Hebrews 8:12 (MSG)
¹² They'll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.

I don't know about you, but I for one am glad God wiped my slate clean!

25 Years and Counting Part 2

Lesson - Money ain't worth much

Studies show that one of the biggest issues in marriage is money.  I would be lying if I told you money hasn't been at the forefront of mine and Tina's marriage over the years.  In fact just as expected money has at time caused some pretty high tension.

But the biggest lesson I have learned is money ain't worth much.  I have learned that no amount (or lack thereof) of money is worth breaking my relationship with my wife.

In our 25 years together we have had times of wealth and times when we didn't have anything.  I remember a time when we were so poor (relative to our culture) that we didn't have any money to buy groceries, at night I would cook a pizza at Domino's and we would count tips and eat at 2am together on our bed (really good memories).  Contrastingly I can remember a time when money was not an object and we had anything we wanted, if I remember correctly those were the most dreadful days of our marriage.  I worked long hours, spent to much time alone and neglected my walk with Christ and my wife and baby girl (I really regret those days)

What we can learn is that money does not buy you love or happiness.  Love and happiness are an attitude and choice.  Money does not buy you satisfaction or peace.  Money does not give you status or popularity.  Money ain't worth much!

Finally our greatest lesson learned about money is trust God with everything we have.  During our time together all but a few years have been given to ministry of some type and although ministry will never make you rich, giving our lives to God does.  We have the privilege to see God work in the lives of those we are entrusted with.  You can be sure that money ain't worth much, but serving God's family is the greatest wealth a man can be afforded.


Well, that's about it today.  My next post will be entitled: Forgive as you want to be forgiven.  See you then!

25 Years and Counting Part 1

As many of you know on Feb. 23 Tina and I will have been married for 25 years.  Just the other day somebody asked me how we did it, and then asked for some advice.  I thought about that and decided to share with you at least 25 things I have learned over these amazing years with the bride of my youth.

Let me first tell you that I am incredibly in love with Tina.  I can most assuredly tell you that I love her more today than I did when I married her, guess it just works that way.  In fact if you don't love your spouse more today, then you are not working at it. So lets get going! 

I would be naive to think that I have learned all there is about marriage and I beginning to realizing that I have a long way to go, but it is my sincere desire to take what I have learned and encourage others in their marriage.

Let me set some ground rules for my sharing:
1. These are not in order chronologically.
2. I didn't learn all these in the first 5-10 years, most took longer (I am slow like that).
3. You may not have to learn all of these as I did.  How you were raised will determine that.
4. Marriage is hard and it takes work, I love the work if you are asking.
5. A healthy successful marriage begins with God at the center.
6. I gave each lesson a unique name and posted thoughts to help make my point.

Lesson One -  The Gambler Lesson

Kenny Rogers released a song some years ago called the Gambler.  For those of you old enough to remember the song you will recognize the chorus:
                      You got to know when to hold 'em,
                      Know when to fold 'em,
                      Know when to walk away,
                      Know when to run.
                      You don't count your money,
                      While your sittin' at the table,
                      There will time enough for counting when the dealin's done.

So what does this have to do with Marriage?

As I have counseled many who were on their way to the chapel to say, "I do's", I have learned a most important lesson, we all have to be good at Gambling.

Marriage begins with the game we call dating.  I will be the first to tell you that dating is a flawed system and in my counsel today I encourage a modified dating system for singles.  What I find so often is during the dating process the biggest mistakes are made.  You have to do what the song says, know when!

So many people today marry for the wrong reasons and wake up one day realizing that they made an enormous mistake, mistakes that will cost them their future. 

A wise gambler will know the rules of the table and know when his investment is taking him further than he is willing to go.  Go with me here a little.  When you have a bad hand you can either fold or bluff.  So many today attempt a bluff out of fear of being alone, or their clock was ticking beyond the "acceptable" time, maybe even due to pressure from parents.  However when you bluff, you have to be willing to stand on the hand.  A wiser choice would be to fold 'em and walk away and yes sometimes you need to run (P.S. Some of you need to learn to listen to those who love you and listen to the advise given by those who care).

Quite honestly in today's sexually raged society the only consideration one has in dating is to fulfil a very selfish need of physical gratification with no consideration of what is lost.  If you know your opponent (Satan) has two Aces in his hand and is playing as a cheat (another Ace under the table) you wouldn't bet all in.  But tragically so many jump without considering the consequences and their hand couldn't win under any circumstance.

The Gambler Lesson helps us to see how important it is to allow God to lead you to the wife/husband He designed for you.  Don't settle for second best, wait and allow God to bring you the best.

Before going on one might ask this question: What do you do when you realize you made a bad decision?  Easy - Honor God by honoring your commitment, ask God to give you a heart of love for the one you said you love, ultimately remember God allows do-overs and when we are faithful, He is faithful (I didn't mean in that we can walk away, once you are all in and it's time to show your cards you are at the mercy of your decision, suck it up and do the right thing).

Lesson Two - Don't get even, get even

Depending on how you were raised will determine how you fight.  Every good marriage has it's fights.  I have often heard some exclaim that they never have fights in their marriage.  One of two things is true of those marriages: 1) You never talk and/or 2) You never spend time together.  If you are breathing and you are in a relationship with another human there will be conflict.  Most men just agreed with that statement and I would go further by saying every man needs a good woman to teach him how to have conflict (just kidding ladies).

It is important to consider as well that men and women fight differently.  When men fight they can beat the fool out of each other, shake hands and go on with life as normal.  But women when they fight it's for keeps.  Two women will beat, pull hair, pinch and scream at one another, it never ends and goes on to eternity.   They hate one another forever.  Knowing this helps you be a better husband, trust me on that one.

Conflict in marriage is normal, how you resolve that conflict is critical to your making it beyond the 5-10 year mark.  The thing missing from most marriages is premarital counseling that teaches couples how to resolve conflict.  The Bible gives us one small nugget of truth that when we heed it we will find success: 

Ephesians 4:26-27 (MSG)
²⁶ Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. ²⁷ Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.



So what do I mean by Don't get even, get even.  When conflict comes into your relationship you have to lower yourself to a point of submission to admit that any conflict that gets out of control is sinful and does not represent Christ and His love for us.  The Bible teaches us to turn the other cheek, to go the extra mile.  When we do this we exhibit the work of Christ in our lives.


Get even by allowing yourself to look at the circumstances surrounding the conflict and determine what will be helpful too resolve the conflict.  Once you slow down and seek to resolve conflict you will be capable of becoming a peacemaker.  Scripture say:
Matthew 5:9 (MSG)
⁹ "You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.



That's about it for today.  I hope to post more in the days to come.  I truly pray this encourages and help you build a lasting relationship as examples of Christ unfailing love.